18-year-old cuts contact with family after being treated as the ‘black sheep’, years later they reach out to reconnect, only to blame him for abandoning the family: ‘So I ended the call’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Feb 5, 2025 2:00 PM EST

Not everyone wins the family lottery, that is simply the sad truth. Many kids find themselves in an unfortunate family situation, wishing their parents would be more supportive, more loving, more caring… more of everything. But changing bad parents is a hopeless task that kids should not take upon themselves. The only way for a bad parent to actually change is if they do it on their own. All kids can do while waiting for that to happen is work on themselves, and probably leave as soon as they can. 

If you can't be happy with the family you were born into, nothing can stop you from building your own family that will love and accept you no matter what. The family you find for yourself can be just as important to you as anything else, so you should never lose hope of finding a place to call home.

The kid in the story below realized pretty early in life that the family he was born into could not love him the way he deserved, so he decided to let them go.

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  • As soon as he turned 18, he moved out and cut his family out of his life. Now, six years later, his siblings try to reconnect between their brother and parents, but the parents seem to have learned nothing from the six years they spent apart from their son. 

    Keep scrolling to read what happened during their conversation. 

  • Cheezburger Image 10462949376
    via shadrin_andrey

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "AITA for telling my parents the best decision I ever made was moving away from our family?"

    I (24m) moved out of my parents house a week after my 18th birthday and my high school graduation and I never went back. This was very different from the rest
    via BackgroundGay6
  • of my family who stayed home until college started and made regular trips back home throughout their time in college, sometimes even moving back in and
    via BackgroundGay6
  • commuting daily. Instead I applied for college in a different state where I knew nobody and I left. I worked as much as I could all summer to save money and
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  • I used that to help me get by. For holidays and other times campus was closed I stayed with a few others who didn't have families to go home to or who couldn't return to theirs.
    via BackgroundGay6
  • I didn't call or keep in touch with anyone in my family. They made a couple of calls that first year but those stopped and we didn't speak for several more years.
    via BackgroundGay6
  • The reason for this is complicated to me but might seem so simple to others, idk. But I always felt like the back sheep of the family. I have ADD which made my attention span
    via BackgroundGay6
  • pretty awful and that's still something that isn't perfect. My ability to lose track of what I was doing or to lose concentration frustrated most of my family. My grades were the worst out
    via BackgroundGay6
  • of my whole family and that was due to the ADD but my parents weren't big on "excuses". They would always tell me I needed to do better, I needed to stop making excuses, they'd tell
    via BackgroundGay6
  • me to look at my siblings grades and they'd especially focus on my younger brother's grades and said if my younger sibling could get straight A's then so could I. And the straight A's
    via BackgroundGay6
  • thing was something all my siblings could do. They said it was in our bled to do good in school and I was up my life.
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  • My siblings would say I was just too dumb to do good in school. There were times my older siblings would be in charge when our parents went out and they'd take
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  • our younger brother and leave me at home alone and laugh about how I didn't even notice. Other times we were all out together and they abandoned me there and
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  • laughed about how bad my concentration was and how they'd tried to make everyone's life easier by leaving me good and open for a kidnapper.
    via BackgroundGay6
  • "Moving away was the best decision I ever made"
    via Vlada Karpovich

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • When my parents would get embarrassed about my grades around others they'd start joking that I was switched at birth because nothing else could explain me being "the odd duck" of
    via BackgroundGay6
  • the family. They made those jokes enough times that I think it made other people uncomfortable. It was their own fault though. They always bragged to others about my siblings grades
    via BackgroundGay6
  • and when I got a mention it quickly became clear they didn't approve of me. The one person I used to have on my side was my paternal grandma. Until I
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  • was 11 she was great. Then she started saying hurtful things and it turned out she had dementia and that was why she changed so fast. The one time I got an A in school nobody believed I
    via BackgroundGay6
  • had actually done it and they thought I bribed the teacher for the grade. Only reason I got it was the teacher was really great and he sat with me and helped me after school to do better.
    via BackgroundGay6
  • When college was getting closer my parents didn't even talk to me about it like they had my siblings. They said they assumed I'd go there if I could even get in, but if not they expected I'd
    via BackgroundGay6
  • be staying and trying to figure out how to fix my life since I'd done nothing but destroy it since I was born. So I never told anyone my plans and then I moved out
    via BackgroundGay6
  • and all contact stopped. I struggled through college and met some good people. I moved around a bit before finding a great guy and settling down with him. I never even came out
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  • to my family because I didn't know how they'd take it. But outside their house I live as myself and I found people who love me. One of my siblings reached out to me after Christmas
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  • and said mom and dad wanted to hear from me and I should call them. I debated it for a while but decided calling them was something I should do and at least get some closure if I didn't feel like we could have a relationship.
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  • So I called them up and I might have f .ked up here but who knows. They said they were surprised I wasn't dod and had wondered if I'd ever reach out again. They wanted to know where
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  • I was and I gave them a state but nothing else. They wanted to know how long it took me to flunk out of college and whether I was an act. I told them I graduated and never
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  • touched a' ol ord s and I told them my life was the best it had ever been. They more or less demanded that I move back to the home town and make amends for leaving and never coming back.
    via BackgroundGay6
  • They said it's not what our family does. I told them I had zero regrets and I said moving away from the family was the best thing I ever did. They started to protest but I asked them if anyone in the family
    via BackgroundGay6
  • actually liked me or cared about me or was it a pride thing with them. They told me I speak to them for the firs time in six years and I insult them and turn this into a pity party and they
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  • said I always liked to make excuses for not being successful. I didn't want to talk anymore so I ended the call and said it would be better if we didn't talk again.
    via BackgroundGay6
  • They texted me a dozen or so times since the call and they told me I can't say something hurtful like moving away was the best decision I ever made and not expect there to be consequences. So was | TA?
    via BackgroundGay6
  • RaspberryPlus6016 NTA at all! Yeah they your parents, but you owe them nothing after how they treated you all those years and never once apologized to you or took ANY accountability for their actions.
    via RaspberryPlus6016
  • Oh_Wiseone NTA - they can't stand the idea that you are happy and successful without them. Block them and live your best life without them !!! Congratulations. Be proud of what you have accomplished.
    via Oh_Wiseone
  • AllForMyBabe If moving away was the best decision you ever made, I'd say your life's like one of those inspirational quotes on Instagram: 'Sometimes you have to lose your family to find yourself!'
    via AllForMyBabe
  • Far_Information_9613 NTA. Some people just don't win the family lottery and have to go forage in the wild for a new one. Good for you.
    via Far_Information_9613

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teens family drama aita brother mother teenagers siblings reddit story parenting dad family Reddit mom parents Father moving out
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